What Does it Mean to Succeed? Or, What a Church and a Soccer Team Have in Common

Recently, I met with a journalist from the Roswell Daily Record who wanted to write a story about me. He very much looked the part of a seasoned reporter—rumpled clothes, scruffy beard, weather-worn face, taking notes with a ragged notebook and pen. We sat in my office and had a wonderful conversation for about an hour. I think I gave him enough material for a novelette, so it will be interesting to see what he draws from it for his short article.

At one point in the conversation he asked me a question that I’ve gotten asked a lot since I started as pastor—are you going to grow the church? It’s a good and valid question. But it’s one that reveals what I think is a real problem with the way that “success” has been defined in America, which is–

Bigger is better.

Whether it’s a business or a YouTube channel or a happy meal, we’ve gotten it in our heads that the most successful businesses are Amazon and Apple because they have a ginormous percentage of the market share. And the most successful people on YouTube are the ones who have millions of followers. And who doesn’t want to supersize that burger into a three-quarter pounder with extra cheese and mayo?

So when the journalist asked me that question, I used my professorial/Socratic voice and asked, “How many followers did Jesus have at the end of his ministry?” He seemed a little confused and baffled so I helped him out and made a “zero” sign with my hand.  Granted, I know there were women who watched from a distant, and John’s gospel records Mary and the Beloved disciple at the cross, but I wanted to make a point, and I didn’t want nuance to confuse things.

“Zero,” I said. “So does that mean that Jesus failed in his ministry? Absolutely not. Because at that point to be successful meant Jesus had to go to the cross.”

Now, I’m not suggesting that a pastor shouldn’t pay attention to the numbers. We must. But increasing membership isn’t the only criterion that determines success. And I would argue it’s not even the most important one. In fact, I think it’s quite possible for a church to explode but do so in a way that is the antithesis of the life and message of Jesus.

So what is success?

I think a part of the answer can be found in an episode of Ted Lasso. Yes, Ted Lasso.

To set the scene up, a hardened journalist named Trent Crimm sits down for an interview with Ted at an Indian restaurant. Trent’s original motivation is to destroy Lasso. He see’s him as a dumb, American bumpkin who is about to ruin his favorite soccer team. But as he spends the day with Ted, he sees another side. And it confuses him.

In the middle of their lunch conversation, Trent finally comes out and confronts Ted by saying, “Ted, what you’re doing is irresponsible. This club actually means something to this town.”

Ted responds, “I know that. I do.” He pauses and gets introspective, then asks, “Trent, what do you love? Is it writing?”

Trent nods his head, ”Yes.”

Ted says, “Well, good, ’cause you’re darn good at it…. Me? I love coaching. Now, I’m gonna say this again just so you didn’t think it was a mistake the first time I said it.  For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field. And it ain’t always easy, Trent, but neither is growing up without someone believing in you.”

This idea is at the heart of the entire series, because (spoiler alert), Ted eventually leads the team to victory with this strategy. But the amazing thing that the show manages to do is to convince us that Ted was right. The greatest victory was not found in the win/loss record. The most important thing Ted does for the club is to help each person in it to forgive and to love and to accept one another for who they really were. He does so by demonstrating over and over again his unyielding belief in them. Ultimately, this helps everyone to become better versions of themselves. And in so doing, the team emerges as the best version of itself.

Coaching and pastoring have the same vision in this respect. When we get serious about loving God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength and our neighbors as ourselves–when we forgive and love and accept and demonstrate our strong belief in one another, then the natural outcome is that we will be transformed into the best version of ourselves. And the church will emerge as the best version of itself.

And whether we have 12 or 1200 in attendance—that’s a win.